Wow. These past few weeks have flown by and I don’t see my life slowing down any time soon.
We’ve given our notice at our current rental, and though the lease only requires a 30 day notice, we gave 60– What we didn’t expect is that they planned on having showings of the house before we moved out. So while I was out of town I got a phone call saying they had a showing of the house scheduled for Sunday and we needed to vacate the house for a few hours.
Between living in two cities during this renovation, normal pregnancy aches and pains, and everything else we have going on– I haven’t been keeping the house in the best shape. Now! My house is perfectly clean, and I would feel comfortable having friends over– but it is not the type of clean perspective renters are expecting– My tub hasn’t been scrubbed in over a month, and (should I be embarrassed to admit this?) I’ve never once touched my baseboards.
Luckily our rental company was understanding and agreed to hold off showings for another week. I’m going to spend the week here picking up clutter, and then have a cleaning service come in to help with some of the fine details that it’s just too hard for me to do.
The back pain I’ve been talking about the last few weeks… I may have been understating how terrible it really is. Sometimes I get out of bed and it takes me nearly a full minute for the pain to subside enough for me to even begin walking; it shoots down my legs and several times it was so bad my legs nearly gave out. I’m having a combination of sciatica pain down my right side, and a completely different kind of pain centralized in my lower back.
Sometimes a heating pad will help, but more often it doesn’t. I have a painful time walking around, getting in and out of cars, etc. I’m only 25 weeks— so I’m incredibly nervous for what the rest of my pregnancy holds for me. Other than the back pain all of my other symptoms continue to be VERY mild, especially since the extreme nausea that plagued me for all of my first trimester and half of my second trimester has subsided.
This back pain makes it nearly impossible for me to go around on my hands and knees and scrub the baseboards or do some of the fine cleaning that I need to get done– hence the cleaning service. C has been offering to hire a cleaning service for me, and I’ve been so hesitant because it feels like I should be able to do this stuff– I’m not working, and I’m only 25 weeks pregnant. I’m ashamed that I can’t keep up. I haven’t really talked about too much to my midwife, because I just assumed it was normal pregnancy aches and pains and I needed to suck it up– but the more difficult it becomes the more I think I might need to seek alternative forms of treatment: physical therapy, chiropractor, etc.
I’m also struggling with another type of pregnancy pain, and that is living in two cities 90 miles away. Most of the time I am not with my husband, and let me tell you– I really, really, miss my husband. And when I’m with him and we’re together out of town– we miss our dog. I miss our beautiful little family of three. The more I think about it, the more upset I get– because this pregnancy is our last chance to enjoy spending time as just the two of us, and we will have spent 7 of those 9 months essentially living apart. We’ve always been strong independent people, and we thrive on our alone time just as much as we do on our time together– but 7 months is just too much.
I cry all the time when I’m not with him. Even if we were together we would just be lounging on the couch with my feet in his lap, reading our nooks, sharing no words– but we would be together. I knew these renovations wouldn’t be short, and that this was the best move for our family, but I underestimated how much it would hurt.
We are in the home stretch! I’m trying to stay positive, and stay strong, because when I let my husband see how sad I am when he leaves– it breaks his heart and makes him feel guilty that he can’t be in two places at once. I know he is doing everything he can to get our home ready for our family so that we can be together in a stable, and potentially forever home. Just a few more weeks and this painful piece of our lives will be done, and we can enjoy the rest of our pregnancy in the peace of our new home, and then begin the most exciting chapter of our lives: our lives as parents.