My decision to wait to go back to work…

My husband and I made the decision to try and get pregnant in February of this year, and with that decision we never expected that we would be the luckiest couple in the world, because our first month trying we were blessed with two pink lines. I hate talking about our ease with fertility, because I follow several blogs of women who have been battling for years with infertility, and I cannot even begin to wrap my head around the pain of that journey. We were anxious and excited to begin this chapter of our lives. The anxiety came with the timing.

The idea of starting to try when we did was that I was graduating nursing school, starting my new career, and moving closer to his family so we would have all of the support we could ever need. What we didn’t expect is for the renovations to be as in-depth and time consuming as they were. C’s original budget and time frame went over by double on both counts! Which means that we had originally thought that we would be in our home by May or at the latest June. When it turned out that the estimated renovation timeline got pushed back to Labor Day (now it’s officially been pushed back until the end of this month)– Our plans changed.

My plan to have a job within a few weeks of being out of school got put on hold until we were more stable. It would have been nearly impossible to work full time at a hospital 90 miles away from our home in central Ky, and it would have been terrible to start a job in central Ky that I knew I wouldn’t be keeping after a few short months. Not only was the distance a concern, but I also took charge of our house here, while C took charge of our future home: While he was managing contractors, and renovation mayhem, I was finishing nursing school (and the last semester in an RN program is brutal!), working as a nursing assistant, and staying on top of the house (cleaning, running my grandmother to her doctors appointments, etc). Between all of this we also were trying to make time for each other– now living 90 miles away from one another.

Then by the time it seemed like I might be able to start looking for a job (about now– with our move in date set for later this month)– it didn’t make a lot of sense to us. I’m entering my third trimester of pregnancy, and the process of getting on at a hospital is not speedy; interview to orientation, to finally hitting the floor can take over 2 months. By the time I would finally be working I would have only a few weeks before our son was due, and I would need to take off. Plus we had already decided that I was taking a full 12 weeks after he was born to bond with him, and establish a milk supply– Because once I go to work I’m not only working, but I’m starting a career fresh.

The thing about nursing is: Yes, I went to nursing school and passed NCLEX — so I am qualified in the state of Kentucky to work as a registered nurse, but when you finally start actually working and taking on patients: you know nothing. Every experienced nurse in the world will tell you that– when they started they knew nothing. Nursing is just as much learning on the job, as it is applying the skills you worked so hard to master in school. I was so nervous about losing everything learned in orientation and my few weeks on the unit with my 12 week absence that my husband and I came to decision for me to wait until after he is born to start looking for work.

This decision did not come easy to us. It is a financial concern, and it’s scary to start looking for a job nearly a year after I graduated school. I’m concerned for how potential employers will view my resume with a huge lapse in time between then and now, I’m worried I will have forgotten everything I learned in nursing school, I’m sad that the mandatory year of experience I need to apply for a midwifery program is going to take that much longer. Still, I am very lucky to have this option available. I’m so thankful to have a supportive husband and family. I’m just so nervous for everything thats coming.

If we could go back– maybe we would have waited a few more months to start trying, but then we wouldn’t have this baby– our son. So, with 100% certainty I know we can say that we do not regret in anyway the things that have come and will come to pass with this pregnancy and my job search, or any of it. We are so excited and thankful and ready.

**I’ve been having some anxiety over seeing all of my school friends post Facebook updates about their new jobs as nurses while I’m not even looking for a job is what inspired me to actually write out why we came to the decision to wait for me to go to work. I know all the reasons why we came to the decision and now all I can do is hope the we made the right decision.

 

 

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