Today has been pretty uneventful, which is what we were hoping for.
I officially have been given both doses of the steroid to mature baby’s lungs, and soon we will reach our short term goal– Then we will focus on keeping him in the oven until October 25th.
I also had the joy of a shower today. My day shift nurse said I could take a shower, but we couldn’t stop the magnesium drip so they put a long clear glove on my arm, and I took the most awkward shower of my life– but it felt amazing. I was trying hard not to get my arm wet even though it was in the glove– and even with my dominate arm free– washing my hair and body sitting in a chair was hard work. Next time I’ll hopefully have both hands (*They may discontinue my magnesium drip), but I will absolutely have my hubby help me more.
Before I talk more about the day I have to spend a moment singing the praises of my husband. He has been absolutely amazing throughout this entire thing. He has handed me things that were out of reach, helped me to the bathroom with my moon shining when the magnesium made my legs feel weak, and never complained. *They don’t want me to wear underwear for fear of an increase in risk of infection. He’s been such a strong person for me to lean on during this, and it really makes me appreciate how wonderful he is.
I should also say I have developed quite a bad bit of hospital blues. I find myself tearing up and crying frequently– when I see someone post a picture of their baby on Facebook, or see a link to an interesting article about breastfeeding on Pinterest, or when I think about the fact that I’ve got his diaper bag here full of clothes I know will swallow him whole. I can’t stop feeling sad at what my son is going to have to go through when he’s born. Then I feel bad because I know that there are women struggling with preterm labor of micro premies and their battle is so much more intense than mine– so why am I upset, when the odds are in my favor of a healthy baby? It’s been an emotional roller coaster. I think part of it is I haven’t slept more than 60 minutes at a time since I got here, and that is weighing heavily on me too, My husband has been very understanding, encouraging, and I love him so deeply for everything he’s done. He’s also scared, but he’s finding the patience and empathy to deal with my emotions.
Now, back to medical stuff– I was told that after my doctor comes in the morning one of three things will happen: They will discontinue my magnesium drip for an oral medication, they will drop my magnesium dosage from 2g/hour to 1g/hour, or they will leave it as it is. The reason for this is 48 hours after the steroid injection has been given we are in the golden window for his lung development and magnesium isn’t shown to be effective long term. So I’m kind of looking forward to maybe stopping this magnesium drip.– both because of the symptoms and because of the frequent BP and reflex checks the nurses need to do. Despite the fact I’m tolerating it better than most women, it is not my favorite thing– weak legs, light headedness, and hot flashes are no fun.
I did get my flu shot, and hubby is going to the store tomorrow and plans to get his while he is out. I also have really enjoyed the heart rate monitoring that happens 3 times a day. For an entire hour we get to listen to his glorious heartbeat and be reminded that despite all of this— he’s doing just fine and he is obviously worth all of this!
Here we go into day 3! We have some visitors stopping by today so I might put on a little makeup and take some pictures. In a weird way this is his birth story, and I want to remember all of it. I’m also hoping we continue to have uneventful days where all we are doing is buying our baby boy some time in the best place for him.